Empowerment. I hear the word constantly. What exactly is empowerment:
To the dictionary: em-pow-er, v. give someone the authority or power to do something; make someone stronger and more confident, esp. in controlling their life and claiming their rights - em-pow-er-ment, noun
To me?
I am not Webster. I can't give you a clear definition on what empowerment is. I can give you what the feeling is. Empowerment feels like freedom and happiness. Empowerment takes me back to those days when I was five years old, being free, living without a care in the world. I would paint on my grandmother's walls and sing anything on the radio, and no one could tell me I was wrong. To be honest, I felt more empowered when I was 5 than 14. Why? When I was 5, there were no pressures on me; no one was telling me what I should be like or what I should look like. I was confident and free--or empowered.
As I got older, I felt less empowered. I felt like I was conforming to what everyone wanted me to be, and not who I was supposed to be. As a teenager, many of us go through identity issues, and I think I was facing mine. I felt like someone else was controlling my life, and not I. Once I became a sophomore in high school, I was able to create my own identity and achieve empowerment. I did my own thing because I was becoming more comfortable with who I was, and I was finally becoming free and happy with myself.
As I got older, I felt less empowered. I felt like I was conforming to what everyone wanted me to be, and not who I was supposed to be. As a teenager, many of us go through identity issues, and I think I was facing mine. I felt like someone else was controlling my life, and not I. Once I became a sophomore in high school, I was able to create my own identity and achieve empowerment. I did my own thing because I was becoming more comfortable with who I was, and I was finally becoming free and happy with myself.
I am my biggest obstacle when it comes to achieving my empowerment. I don't like blaming others and things for my problems--and it 'takes two to tango' as my mother would say. I let people control who I was at an age when I knew the difference between the right and wrong people. I accepted everything people told me and I did everything people said. I was not Nichelle. I was another person; a shadow of another person. I lacked my own beliefs and thoughts, and restriction of the mind contradicts empowerment.
Today, I'm not fully empowered, but I'm more than half-way there. I am more confident in myself, and I smile a little harder and a little more. I do what I want, and I enjoy doing it. I have my own beliefs, and I feel like that 5 year old girl again. I feel free and happy. I am happy and free.
Having known you for 12 years, I must say that I do see a difference in your whole being. You have grown and matured, and you have become what everyone knew you could be -- not what everyoone wanted you to be. You will be successful and happy because of your determination to make your life that way. I knwo this is kind of mushy, but I am so proud of you for coming this far. Of course you have a lot more to go, but I believe that with the right guidance, self-motivation, and persistence (all of which you have in abundance), you will be able to be the absolute best Nichelle C. Brunner that you can posiibly be.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Nichelle. I look at my sister and how innocent and carefree she is. I also realize that even at 8 years that innocent empowerment is fading to become what my family wants it to be. The good part, she is fighting it. She is quite independant and has been able to be herself for some time. As she ages, she will probably lose some of that inpedendance but i know that she will also bring it back even more strongly because that's who she is.
ReplyDeletethere's a simplicity that relieves us of anxieties associate with "grown folk business". It's the clarity of innocence; and we'd do well to return now and again to these carefree "happy and free" days. I think that as children, we understand that we're not in control of much; and we do our best with whatever cards we are dealt. A consideration: What if it isn't very different for us as adults? Worry is the projection that empowerment is more about "working for it" than "living through it". At nearly 39, I'm a lot more like i was at 3 or 9. Life's been a lot better that way too. (smile)
ReplyDeleteNichelle,
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! I often look at young kids and reminisce about how carefree I was at 5, 9 and even 11. I wanted to dress differently in crazy bright colours and I didn't care what anyone else said. I didn't care if anyone thought it was cool or not for me to want to be a marine bilogist and work with sea animals.
Then, adulthood came along and society dictated the pressure to "be an adult." I battled with the need to be in control.
Then I realized that it was a losing battle. I don't NEED to be in control. I let go and I think that's when true empowerment happened for me. I feel like my life is carefree again.
You too will "find your niche" where you can totally be YOU, irrespective of what the world thinks. At that moment, you will free as a bird and soar with the wind beneath your wings.
I have no doubt that you will get there. In the meantime, enjoy the journey and grow along the way.
Am looking forward to reading more entries on your blog.
I think this is pretty funny. The way you talk about how you felt empowered when you were 5 years old and that you felt free. I actually think the opposite. Yes, I guess you can say we were sort of free but not completely. I feel this because when I was young, my mother kept telling me what I was suppose to do and what I wasn't suppose to do. I felt like although I was young and still learning right from wrong, I still had to do and obey what my mother would tell me. That did NOT make me feel empowered over myself. Just saying. Haha.
ReplyDeleteI really Like your blog. I understand what you mean with kids. When I look at kids, they have the most confidence in themselves. My younger cousins calls on anyone nd if they ignore his calls. He calls there name until he is recognized. Its like when Stewie was calling Louis nd he kept saying "mama mama, mama", until she recognized him. If it was someone older and they got ignored, they would feel insecure and less of themselves. Its really great that your becoming more empowered.:)I will try to be as more empowered as u nd stewie!
ReplyDeleteI love how you made your blog very personal. You showed how empowerment makes you feel, rather than just defining the word. The experiences you stated made me relate to what you were writing. I especially like the 5 year old experience you stated in your blog. Great Job Nichelle! = )
ReplyDelete